Since February 4th I have had the most awful time of it. My Mum dying is very hard to write about and to even think about to be honest. The fact that she died through suicide makes it even harder to comprehend. Some days I'm ok and I feel like it hasn't sunken in properly and other days I just feel so lonely.People have been lovely but I find it hard when they try and compare losses of others to mine, theres so many more layers to it, the fact that my Mum chose to die the way she did.
It's very weird to think that at 22 I have been left completely without parents or any brothers and sisters and to try to carry on with my life. I always seem to be confronted with situations that remind me quite how lonely I am. My Mum was my best friend and we had so much fun together, just going for coffees, shopping, having dinner and drinking wine. She was the person that got me into indie music at a young age and who I could share everything with. She knew me better than anyone in the world, having been just me and her for most of my life and I think thats why it feels so hard now.
My boyfriend and friends have been amazing and I do realise how lucky I am to have them. I feel that I should start blogging again as I was enjoying writing about different bits and I love reading other blogs as well. I feel that by blogging I will have my space to write down my thoughts and feelings and to write down if I'm having a bad day. I also want to carry on writing about clothes and lawschool and everything else in my life. So there we go really, I'm back!!